Now

I figured instead of writing slice-of-life updates, I could use this space to add little tidbits of what I'm up to.

Last Updated: Jan 27, 2025 | Archive

Happenings

It's been a quiet few weeks lately as I continue to ease into 2025. I've been meaning to write some more introspective entries but have been still turning them in my head. I think two major things on my mind lately is friction as an intentional thing in the day to day and detangling yarn as a representation of organizing thoughts? Nothing new that hasn't been said, but they are what is on my mind lately so I'll try to organize this chaotic brain of mind soon. Been a bit of a scatterbrain lately. Maybe my brain wants to hibernate in the winter? :p

Today I also found out via a company-wide email that I will be moved to another department, so I feel down. I'm not good with change, but muster the strength to do so when I need to. I feel upset that I had to find out this way. I don't like to talk about work here, but I feel incredibly hurt that my team has always been undervalued and for this to happen feels like a nail in my heart and reminds me how much damage a company can do to one's self-esteem. I decided to just work on this page as a break as I try to process how I feel, but my chest feels so tight right now and I can't even cry to make it better. It's just a knot, stuck in my throat and I feel a bit lonely because I don't want to talk about it with my friends and I want to hide in a corner...

Current Fever

I've been making more tea lately in the colder weather. I've always loved to drink tea but I got covid almost 3 years ago and it took 2 years to even start getting a lot of my senses back so tea tasted kinda weird? But black tea came back a year or so ago and with it other types. I MISSED TEA SO MUCH. So lately I've been drinking tons of it, and making up little concoctions of herbals tisanes depending on how I feel or what I want. Being the true dork I am, I like to make my recipes in proportions so I can scale them from mugs to teapots! Here's one of the ones I've been enjoying lately:

Begone Anxiety! Citrus Blend

I always loved to play and create things so I feel that teas have been a fun creative space to play in.

From my Shelves

I haven't read a lot lately, mostly some manga and some half read books I need to just finish:

I've been such a space cadet that my books are accumulating so I'll read the ones I have on read before starting new stuff.

On Repeat

Have you ever had a friend that is so into music that you daren't share your favorite music with them? I have two. And it's silly, but I feel sad that though I do not make music, listening to it is a very deeply rooted part of my soul. So I feel an emptiness that I don't feel safe being myself with them. I'm still kinda been in this odd mood where I've been remembering songs I've loved through the years and made a playlist with some. To me, a song I love will make me dance, or has lyrics that move my heart. This new list, vibing, captures the former. From salsa, to dancehall, to pop, kpop, freetstyle, postgrunge, EDM, etc, etc, etc I have collected all te songs that I can remember being dopamine rushes to me and added them here. It was a fun project to make the list and will probably add tons more as I remember. I don't like to gatekeep music and I hope this list is a testament to my love and joy of the medium:

On My Needles (Hook)

I haven't crocheted in almost 2 years but got the hankering to make a cloud blanket after I saw a tutorial on YouTube! I'm using a chenille super bulky yarn from Michaels and it's working up SO FAST. I've been working on it semi-diligently for about 1.5 weeks and I'm already about 3/4 done which is nuts for a blanket haha. Knitting a super bulky would take longer. WHich is worth it, but it's nice to spice things up by playing with other crafts! I'll add a pic when it's done!

“But every woman wants a family, at heart,” she said. “It’s only natural.” “Habitual,” corrected Diana. “God knows what would happen to civilization if we did things just because they were natural.”
– John Wyndham (Trouble with Lichen)