One of my special interests is psychology. I don't really spend as much time on it as I do with my other interests, but I do still feel that my fascination with how we tick influences many parts of my job. As a designer, I adore typography, and color, and a harmonious spacing system; but what I love the very most is to make an experience that is in line with how our brains work. So though I want read more on the subject and don't I do have a deep appreciation when I encounter psychology in other areas of my life.

And because life has a way to work in patterns, I have noticed through the years that I have played, listened to and watched quite a bit of things that include the concept of Jung's Shadow Archetype. Most commonly the personal battle with one's shadow but also stories integrating the collective shadow. I guess some brief definitions before I continue:

Shadow
Aspects of one's personality and self that are repressed and are not accepted by the conscious mind.

I'm a huge fan of the Persona games, and have been meaning to write about it for a long time, but did not know which angle to approach it. But I remember this feeling of shock that a video game can so deftly tell the story of a group of people, who in turn, confront the part of themselves that they hate and who, after acknowledging their hidden selves, become whole and stronger. I wondered as I saw this happen in Persona 4, if I could do this as well. But I don't exactly try to repress my shadow. I know my shadow. Perhaps I never accepted it. I don't know why I cannot have the grace to forgive my bad traits. I always believed that harshness will never fix oneself and am forever encouraging my friends to show themselves kindness. But I get a special glee from indulging in and hurting myself sometimes.

I feel my own shadow was formed early and was taught to cater to men I perceived more powerful than I. I revisited my childhood over and over as an adult to regain the father I lost. I remember as a little girl taking off my father's shoes as he returned from work. Working hard to do better at math to make him happy, and obeying him so he didn't become angry and hit me or threaten to hit me. So... now that I think about it, my main shadow is a child seeking approval. Burning her soul to make her partners happy. The little girl relishes the pain, because in that pain she is sacrificing something. But as all children, she is a fool. No one likes a martyr and her actions are counterintuitive. Her actions don't build the relationships she craves. She just makes herself a molecule. Invisible and worthless.

I just realized that as I wrote this entry, which is sad, as I am old. But it is happy, because writing helps always. And to have a reliable thing is a good thing.

The Shadow Archetype in Media

Books

Games

Music

Movies

No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.
– Carl Jung