This is my third writing in three days. It's odd how sometimes my world feels empty of words, and others, the words feel like they need to get out before they explode inside of me.
I usually wake up very early (4AM) to meditate (or fail to meditate :p), make coffee, get ready for work, get my daughter's things ready for school, run laundry, wake up my husband, etc. Once he is awake, he has his coffee and listens to something while I knit or play a puzzle game before waking my daughter to get her up and ready for school and start work. On this beautiful Monday, as I knitted a sock before waking up my daughter, my husband was in the kitchen playing what I think is a podcast and I overheard a podcast bro spouting out snake oil about how failure is his secret to success.
<rant>
How can it be... *checks calendar* 15 days until 2025 and anyone could plausibly believe that concept of success/failure is as simple as:
- Dating a "high-quality woman" as opposed to being “shot down" (also, the fuck does a high quality woman mean?)
- Winning votes for various offices
- Owning and failing at business (who can AFFORD that???)
- Money for the sake of hoarding wealth
And how can we, a species that has seen the cycles of abuse of power, who have had literal revolutions to protest against the unfair distribution of wealth, who lived through wars and market crashes... how can we act like a collective infant and internalize this bullshit narrative of “I alone am the determiner of my own lot"?
For every person that pursued the American dream; that did every step and did every single thing right without faltering and suceeded, there are one thousand who, due to systemic biases, infrastructure, support systems or lack of them ended up not attaining the same perks. I've seen many a time things like a woman and man stating the same thing, only for the man to be acknowledged. Or two people working weekends only for one to become VP (white allistic male) and the other laid off (white neurodivergent male).
I think what makes me salty is that these people who spout this stuff are given large platforms to perpetuate these myths and also monetize on them, furthering their confirmation bias that they are attractive people who did the work and were able to “reap what they sowed". Seriously, this guy said that confidence in the face of failure and perseverance made him into an attractive person 🤢 DIOS MIO!!!
</rant>
I know it is tempting, in this age of information overload, in this age of cheap dopamine and quick sound bites to lean into these simple and comforting messages. It is very empowering to think that success is there for the taking if one is willing to put in the work. But if we continue to give in to scrolling, short-form videos, micro-blogging... then we don't give ourselves the necessary time to enjoy a good deep dive. I struggle with carving the time to think but I'm trying to so I can recognize the snake oil salesmen better, to not support them, and to build a more nuanced view of life and society.
Tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance.
– Albert Maysles