Open Letter
29 Mar, 2025
To whom it may concern,
I hope this letter finds you well. I just wanted to reach out to clarify some important things about neurodivergent people, especially those who are young and in school. I appreciate that the law requires every child to be in a class that is appropriate for their needs. I appreciate that every year, parents sit on meetings where those needs are listed out. I appreciate that institutions often make accommodations that go above and beyond what is signed into plans. I appreciate the few employers that embrace different nuerotypes. I appreciate a lot of things. But I do not appreciate the high horse that the privileged get up on, thinking that they are accepting those who are different.
In the hierarchy and intersection of privilege, being allistic is the most important attribute to have to succeed and to be treated with respect. I appreciate the accommodations, but isn't even the term arrogant? It seems that you think that the neurodivergent need you to adapt to their needs, which entails extra work. But that... is a little naive, prejudiced and shortsighted. Do you not realize the herculean effort it takes to accomodate you, your institutions, and society at large? Can you imagine being told that just because you process differently and falter in our current societal norms that you need to be remolded, need therapy, be isolated? Can you imagine being ostrasized because you are “weird"? Bullied for it? Putting up with condescending people saying “they're smart but if they just were more x they would SUCCEED in the ways I consider a success." Perhaps... imagine masking that you are another gender, race, sexuality, or any other dimension you consider integral to your identity for a few days and let me kow how you feel to pretend you're something you're not to fit in? I can assure you that pretending to be what you want me to be, only to be critiqued at every turn for not having grit/leadership/focus/whatever is more of an accomodation to you, your peers and your society than you will ever grant me, or my family. You have no idea of even a small fraction of the societal penalties and indignities I go through just because I and my family have different brains.
So thank you kindly for ze accommodations. I hope... you like the ones I make for you. And I hope that one day you learn that without trying to understand and have true empathy for the reality that you will never experience, you never ever will be anything more than another biased individual in the crowd of people that screw one over.
Warm regards,
Dreaming in Celadon