The Maudlin One
28 Mar, 2025
- I cried listening to Chromakopia
- I cried while making bread
- I cried while I meditated, exercised, stretched my muscles
- I cried while having a snack, stomach burning with anxiety
- I cried watching a clip of a TV show
- I cried looking at a baby picture of my kid
- I cried because my little one found a friend
- I cried at the fragility of everything I care about
- I cried because I'm tired of fighting privilege, bias
- I cried because I feel that my family is misunderstood
- I cried because I lost coworkers for the 12th time in the past 5 years
- I cried because the world is on fire
- I cried because I can lose everything I love over words, twisted
- I cried because I know I am just a toy and a maid
- I cried seeing women, defending sexual predators because the predator is handsome
- I cried because someone was kind
- I cried because it's all very unfair
- I cried knowing I shouldn't
- I cried even knowing everything is transitory
- I cried because I wish I could hold everyone safe and fail
- I cried, railing at my own self-indulgence, navel gazing, overthinking
- I cried after telling everyone I was as OK as I could be
I felt suddenly lonely, in the anxious way that nostalgia always seemed to trigger.
– Nanae Aoyama (A Perfect Day to Be Alone)