Vignettes 2
12 Mar, 2025
- The mornings are cold, and the afternoons have been balmy. So my feet freeze early on because I stubbornly dress up for meetings. But the good news is that I can open windows late morning, that today's meeting was cancelled. Perhaps I can celebrate by slipping into a giant sweater and some leggings as I sip on piping hot tea. I also feel a bit ill, ugh. All the more reason to discard the dressy attire.
- I think my focus is improving somewhat. I recall reading The Agony of Eros by Byung-Chul Han last year in fits, struggling to understand him, but muddling through because I felt that it was important to read it. Last Night I started another book of his, The Burnout Society. I am on the 46th page of 51. It's really quite dense but was able to get through it. I am excited to immerse myself in the content of it via other channels, like articles, videos, conversations. As when I read the Eros tome, I agree with some things but disagree with the absoluteness of the assertments. Like, a culture of achievement/positivity cannot be the sole cause for the explosion of depression. I experienced a bad bout of the condition in 1999, leading to my first attempt to leave everything. But I concede that I was overexposed to TV back then. Something to think about I feel and explore. But, I feel hungry for more now, as opposed to feeling exhausted at the challenge of reading Mr. Han's work.
- This week I've been in thinking mode. Quieter. I have been isolating more as I process I think and feel overall more relaxed. I am trying to find more balance. I am apt to rush into things and not honor my need for slowness and I felt emotionally bloated and tired, I think. I hope that I can come out of these few weeks a hair wiser than I was before. Just a hair haha. That the repetition I've indulged in my writings is helping something click about how I interface with the world, and others.
- My daughter fell asleep very early last night and woke up at 4:30AM, which is fine. For some reason I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't settle down again. I listened to some music and watched YouTube shorts which is awful yes, but my feed was quite nice today. A mix of crochet, music, and Josh Johnson comedy clips.
- Today I learned that CLI stands for Command Line Interface. A tiny thing but oddly fascinating to me. I also learned the useful term 12:00 problem. Which is an interface that is so over complicated that users give up and don't use it. Much like most people didn't bother setting their VCR clocks, thus leaving them with a blinking 12:00 displaying. 🤓
- Current obsessions: The warmth the space heater sends to my cold feet, the sound of the bread machine running. Hearing a friend's laugh. The tannic dryness that black tea leaves on my tongue. Magical girl manga and aesthetics, especially whilst listening to City Pop. A basket of apples and the sound of birds returning. The sun coming out after weeks of gloomy weather.
Excessive positivity also expresses itself as an excess of stimuli, information, and impulses. It radically changes the structure and economy of attention. Perception becomes fragmented and scattered.
– Byung-Chul Han (The Burnout Society)
