As If It Were Your Last

19 Mar, 2025

Today is the last day of winter. Of course nature cares not a whit for the arbitrary markers that try to draw hard lines around it. The birds started singing weeks ago, always at 5:55AM on the dot. I can open windows and doors a few times a week. The fresh breeze make the curtains dance. Feeling the air moving freely in my home is one of my top favorite things. But we are still in a transition. Spring was bleeding into Winter and Winter will bleed into the beginning of Spring. It will be colder on this Equinox than it is on the last day of winter, after all. Last week's storms seemed to brought this coolness back.

I took off tomorrow and Friday. I'm hoping to celebrate the season's change. As a tech worker, I often feel disconnected from sensory experiences. As an overthinker, I overdepend on exercising my mind and neglect my body. I figured this would be a fun way to reset. Brew some spring tea concoction, binge some Studio Ghibli. Bake something, ideally scented with lavender? Cook something I usually feel too tired to make. Play soft music. A nap??? OMG a nap haha, yas. I'm hoping to pull some tarot cards and meditate a little. Take a long walk on Friday once the sun is higher. I think the part I am most excited about is the sheer indulgence of not rushing. Last year I was bad about forgetting to request PTO. I made a resolution this year to take a 4-day weekend per season to reset, and give my soul a nice long stretch. I'm legit hyped about this.

I'm not good at appreciating things. So this odd little practice of contemplating today is in part the excitement of a reset, but also a sort of thank you to an ending. We're not guaranteed much, are we? Sometimes I think, my daughter has 40 days in this school year. Or this might be the last time I speak to a friend. Or the 1,000th to the last time I eat a muffin. Too many times in my life last things were forgotten. What was the last time I used a certain software in my work. Or the last time I decided to use a color for my art before choosing something new and exciting. I know one human can't hold it all but there are important lasts I forgot. I don't remember the last thing mom told me before she got sick. I regret not being more mindful and appreciative. Anyway, no more being maudlin. Tomorrow I shall binge on tea and wholesome things, with a heart grateful for a new season to enjoy and experience.

✨ Butterfly Bloom Tea ✨

For a 12 oz (350 ml) mug the proportions are: ¾ tsp lemon verbena, ½ tsp butterfly pea flower, ¼ tsp chrysanthemums.

I know most families don’t celebrate every new moon or every solstice and equinox, but maybe they should.
– Annie Hartnett (Rabbit Cake)